Letter to self

Hey you,

Yes, you hiding from this letter.

I need to tell you something.  Don’t hide.  All your life you have felt like you needed to hide.  Hide the abuse.  Hide the need to feel loved.  Hide from your true self by finding useless “love’ from others.  Hide from your out of control feeling by desperately fighting to be in control.   You will hide behind legalism, thinking if you are a really good girl, someone will love you.

You will work so hard at hiding from what your mother had become that you will end up unmarried and pregnant and then you will hide that pain by marrying the father, a man you don’t love because you are scared of being classified as “just like her”.   You will hide in an affair at the end of your marriage, once again searching for love.

What you don’t know is you are hiding from the one thing that can set all that free!   Don’t hide from the one true thing that can soothe your broken spirit.  Broken by the pain of neglect and abuse.   God’s love is the balm and you just have to come out of hiding long enough to let Him apply it.

You will grow older and find Him and begin to apply this truth, but you will make mistakes time and time again.  You will swear to hide your broken heart behind big walls.  You will try and hide behind your looks, thinking this is what makes you desirable.  But what makes you desirable is your heart.  The one God gave you.  A heart big enough to love fiercely, deeply and full of forgiveness.  You ARE beautiful inside and out.  God doesn’t make anything less.  Believe it.  Need His reassurance.  Play the victim of brokenness with Him, he wants to be your Savior.

Don’t hide, baby.  There is so much life to be enjoyed.  So much to learn in the light.

I’ll be here with you every step of the way.  And so will the God of the universe, who loves you wholly and without reservations!

Love, Me

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Beth Werner Lee
    Aug 17, 2012 @ 08:46:37

    Brave, and absolutely right. God loves you so much!

    Reply

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