Realization

In the last couple of days I have come to the full realization of  sin and the pain it brings.  Nothing prepared me for the heart wrenching pain that would come when I fully admitted my sin.

My brain knew  what I had done was wrong, but it hadn’t become a heart thing yet.  It took another hurt from someone  that finally dropped me to my knees in repentance.  The pain of the hurt and the pain of the full realization of what I had done was almost more than I could bare.

There I was in my bedroom crying out the ugliness of my sin, my selfishness, more than a month later.  It’s sad it took me getting hurt to finally realize my part in the sin.  I was choosing to hide in me being done wrong and in my forgiveness to the other person for the hurt.  All the while not getting to the root of what I had done.

I’ve gotten hurt so bad at times and some of those bad times is because I stepped out of the will of  God.  Yes, I know I shouldn’t haven’t been treated the way I did in some of these times, but when we make sinful choices we must be willing to take the pain that comes.

God will redeem my sin.  It’s his love of me that makes it a fact.  My heart is a little lighter now.  The pain is still there, but it’s a little more tolerable.

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