The Charmed Life

I decided today to live in a grace mentality and not a victim mentality.  It took me just a little less than a week to get there.  Not bad coming from the girl that usually likes to linger in pain.

It’s hard being the victim of a hurt caused by someone else.  Rejection is one of the hardest hits.  But I want to believe that one wrong isn’t the answer to who I am.  I am not a victim unless I choose to play the role.  I had a part in the play that caused the hurt and I can let the curtain fall or I can continue to replay the scenes over and over again.

I chose grace.  I chose to give it out despite if I wasn’t in the wrong.  I chose to give it to someone that has been hurt, because I KNOW how it feels.  And my heart softens because causing pain is sometimes reflected in our actions with others even we don’t mean too or set out to.  Hurt people, hurt people sometimes.  I also chose to receive grace into my mistake too.  This is probably hardest for me.  I am always very hard on myself.  Mistakes are meant to teach us what to do better next time.  I’ll try and learn from that.

I’m realizing that I have a soft heart.  Sometimes this really ticks me off.  I want to stay angry.  I want to stay depressed, down on myself and believing that I matter to no one.  That no one is worth time or effort.   But my heart, the one that God gave me isn’t shaped that way.  I’ll stay angry for awhile, but then I will feel your pain and hurt with you and feel the grace that covers us all.

That’s the charmed life.


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